So Katee, what's going on with the helmet, hey? Have you any idea that your ridiculous choice of motorcycle helmet is resulting in worldwide Spank Distress? What on earth are you thinking? Are you on crack? That piss-poor excuse for a helmet that you've got is gonna get you killed. This global concern has recently been magnified ten-fold by your revelation during a TV interview that you crashed your bike while wearing that helmet and had to go to exorbitant lengths to keep your face intact. Yet you STILL persist in wearing that abomination.

It is interesting to note that one of the people in the above photo has some common sense. If this trend of questionable helmet judgement keeps up Katee, TeamSpank may be compelled to reinvent themselves as TeamTricia.

We are sure that you've heard this lecture many times over from your mother, but you are going to hear it yet again from TeamSpank. My God, woman - get yourself a proper helmet. If you are a bit hard up for cash, your Team will be only too happy to pay for one for you. Whereabouts shall we send the cheque? Do you accept Paypal?

We've done some research and decided you might like this one:

So what do you think? A bit gaudy perhaps? A bit 'loud' for the Harley attire? You really can't beat basic black when it comes to helmet-wear. However this one has a "positive-lock chin venting system that helps prevent fogging", which just sounds sensational! Fogging is never much fun. Anyway, if that's not the one for you, there are plenty of other makes and models to choose from.

So what's the story Katee? Do you enjoy a bit of road kill in the face? You are not going to be smiling quite so broadly when a squished dragon fly becomes embedded up your snout. Have you not seen Men In Black? Remember that scene with the bug and and the windscreen? Well just imagine that the windscreen is your face. Squish.

Let us put it to you this way - a half helmet is only going to protect HALF of your head. Could you please explain what use the good half is going to be to either you or your team, without the half that may be horrendously damaged when you next come to grief on your bike? Katee, could you please tell us - when was the last time you had a meaningful interaction with someone with literally half a brain? Did we hear you say 'never'? Well of course that would be never, because that person would be dead.

Oh for fuck's sake, Katee. Helmets have one purpose - safety. They are not intended to double as a fucking fashion accessory. Sure you look very cute and retro, whereas you certainly can't tell that there's a supermodel hiding under Tricia's helmet. But the thing is, who would come out looking cuter if either of you came off your bike and flew head first into an inanimate object?

And now we move on to this damning piece of evidence...

So Katee, is this dude the reason why you're wearing that ....thing? He talked you into it, didn't he? You wanted to match, like identical twins. Well, TeamSpank is just gonna put this out there...

Look dude, we know who you are and if that 'helmet' fails to protect our beloved TeamLeader from personal injury, we are gonna be gunning for you. TeamSpankers are spread out far and wide across the globe so there will be no place to hide. We will find you and there will be a reckoning.

So Katee, what are you waiting for? Was that convincing enough, or are you going to continue to throw caution and basic common sense to the wind?

Here's what you have to do. Turn off the computer, pick up your CAR keys, grab your handbag and go buy yourself a SENSIBLE fucking helmet!!!!

If this recent photograph is any indication, it would appear that Katee Sackhoff has become completely unhinged. What on earth is she thinking? TeamSpank pleads with her to do the right thing and get a sensible helmet for her own protection, and so what does she do? She runs in completely the other direction and gets rid of her helmet entirely. Oh my godfather, at this point TeamSpank would almost settle for half a fucking helmet! She must be on crack. Here is a photograph of her hooning around the countryside, not only SANS HELMET but in CHAPS AND A SILVER BIKINI.

It would appear that not only is Katee prepared to endanger the contents of her own head, but she is also trying to cause massive traffic carnage. A hot blond woman just cannot ride around on a motorcycle in a bikini and chaps without causing major motoring chaos. Doesn't she care about her fellow drivers? Honestly, this woman needs to be restrained. It's just wrong!!!

Well I don't know what to say. I'm frankly speechless. I am numb. And this is why...

Katee Sackhoff, you are a bad influence. I may be almost rendered mute by the above revelation, but I can still manage to man up and say this, with authority: there will be NO TeamTricia.