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- Spankers span the globe - we're talking all continents, both hemispheres.
- One of us is a dog.
- We have a mutual admiration for this Katee chick, for many and varied reasons.
But to most of us, she's cool, she's really good at her job, she's funny and she makes us happy.
- It has been said that the combined maturity level of the Spankers is about the same as that of an average 7 year old.
- Spankers are unlikely to ever actually meet each other and/or our fearless TeamLeader, Ms Sackhoff, and this is probably a good thing.
(Spanking is best done in the closet, behind closed doors, after all). Plus there is a tacet understanding amongst Spankers that we are probably more than a little pathetic.
- You have to undergo an initiation task to
become a true-blue TeamSpanker.
- We Spankers have our own forum - The Treehouse,
The Treehouse is pretty much a 24/7 operation and there's always Spankers about, so sign up if you feel compelled to spread the lovin'.
It has many threads that mainly concern Katee, one of which is "The Last Sentinel Anti-Appreciation Thread".
We go there to vent when we feel the need to let it all out.
- All fully qualified Spankers must have the word "spank" attached to some part of their username. This is known as the "Spank Appendage".
- Our Treehouse forum has a unique set of banned/censored words, which you may stumble across on your adventures there.
Trying typing in "Dirk Benedict" for instance.
- A SpankFest occurs when 5 or more TeamSpankers are online at the same time.
- Spankers have our own special treasure trove of goodies, however you have to become a member to gain access to it. It's known as the SpankerSecretStash.
- TeamSpankers will watch anything Katee appears in because
we are curious and supportive of her career, but we DO NOT have to enjoy it. Many of us watched "The Last Sentinel" as a result had to undergo
many months of therapy. We may be keen, but we're not fuckin' stupid.
- One Spanker has a somewhat bizarre Katee Sackhoff foot fetish, (but only if her feet are bare). This Spanker is a stable,
happily married 30-something woman with two young children. Spankers have been aware of this strange fetish for quite sometime,
however we are yet to establish whether it is just a joke or it is furreal.
- Many TeamSpankers spend a considerable amount of time
while at work covertly chatting online about Katee Sackhoff, popular culture and and a vast array of other worldy topics. This lot are known as ProfessionalSpankers.
- A disproportionate number of Spankers are insomniacs. These Spankers are
known as InsomniSpanks. Many Spankers combine sleep deprivation with chatting online when they should be working. These Spanks are known as
ProfessionalInsomniSpanks.
- The conversation between Spankers can sometimes get a little too OTT. In that event, we have a 'safe word' - Dualla.
- Most Spankers have never seen photos of fellow Spankers. The vast majority of Spankers don't even know each others' real names.
That would probably be a case of too much information (and profound embarrassment, cause we are in the closet after all).
- One or two Spankers have been know to obsess about Katee Sackhoff's collarbone. One Spanker even wants to LICK it.
Don't fear Katee, your Team will never let this creepy freak anywhere near you.
- It has long been speculated that the TeamSpanker FatApolloLoveSpank is actually a 75 year old pervert masquerading as a
19 year old blond chick.This is because of the sicko content of many of his or her posts. Not that this is of any real concern to us,
due to our OpenSpanking policy. Takes all types.
- No self-respecting TeamSpanker would ever follow Katee Sackhoff or any other celebrity into a toilet.
We believe in personal space and generally try to not to cross the line into needy creepiness,
despite what you may think after you read Fats' Collabone article or discover stuff that's hidden in the 100,000 odd posts written by fans at The Treehouse.
The collarbone article was a joke. (I think).
- Spankers aren't so much 'Sci'Fi' fans as they are Katee Sackhoff fans.
That is not the same thing. Many Katee Sachoff fans would be perfectly happy if they never saw another spaceship.
- As yet, no offical Spanker has ever attended a fan convention and most believe the term "con" merely refers to some sort of criminal activity.
Update!!! This barrier has finally been broken. SwimSpank & StarbuckLoveSpank (Starby) summoned up the courage and stood in a ridiculously long queue to
meet The Sackhoff at some convention about Wizards somewhere or other. By all accounts it was a blissfulful event. Swim and Katee bonded over a chat about swimming
(breaststroke, to be exact). TeamSpank also now has photographic evidence that Katee wrote the words "Team Spank" on a piece of paper. Exciting times.
In one concerning incident though, Swim and Starby gave Katee a couple of bits and pieces from this website, one of which, alarmingly,
was my little review - Sentinel Shame.
OH DEARY DEARY ME. Let's just hope that Katee had the good sense to think it was kindling and hurl it in the fireplace before she read it.
- We have discussed meeting up in Switzerland, should Katee ever attend a conference there.
Why Switzerland? Well it's neutral territory, so that seems fair. Also, think of the fun we could have between skiing and partying and chocolate.
Good times. (However, much like Kobol, not all of us would come back from Switzerland alive.) They also make excellent pocket knives and over there, not to mention
sensational cuckoo clocks, so we could multi-task and do some power shopping as well.
That's about all you need to know about the Spanks really. So sign up for the Spank site and also join us at the Treehouse. If not, have a nice life. Good times!
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SpankFacts
