 Constitution and Amendments of TeamSPank, Fats & DJ created this inane drivel. Maxi is innocent. |
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 Dec 12 2008, 07:14 PM
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#1
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 Administrator  Group: Root Admin Posts: 46 Joined: 27-March 08 Member No.: 1  |
We the Spanks of the Treehouse, in order to form a more perfect Forum, establish Toolishness, ensure Forum Tranquility, ignore the Spank's Defense, destroy the General Welfare, and call into question the Blessings of Fandom to ourselves and our Assholish Ways, do ordain and establish this Constitution for Team Spank.
Amendments will be added on a daily basis until completion (yeah, THAT'S a fucking joke) --------------------  |
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Dec 12 2008, 07:22 PM
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#2
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Administrator Group: Root Admin Posts: 46 Joined: 27-March 08 Member No.: 1 |
1: Katee Sackhoff in the Media and Popular Culture Items: Movies, Television and the Streaming Internet Media Player.
A)In Regards To the Film "The Last Sentinel" and The Resulting Alcohol Abuse as it Pertains to Film and Media Arts Relevant to Our Popular Culture, and the Resulting Health Problems, Hospitalization, or Rampages That it May Incur; Including the Movie, the Alcoholic Beverages and/or a Mixture of the Two. Not Including the Resulting Dismantling of Personal Relationships That May or May Not Occur Due to a Member of Team Spank Requiring and/or Forcing a "non" Member to Endure the Process of Watching 'The Last Sentinel' and/or Requiring or Forcing Said "Non-Member" to Become Involved in said "Alcohol Abuse" During the Duration of the Film. 1) The resulting alcohol rehabilitation and degradation of a social life of a member of Team Spank as a result from watching the duration of The Last Sentinel, can only be expressed in the following form:
* Breaking the previously mentioned wine and/or beer and/or Liquor bottle on the floor. * Breaking the previously mentioned movie, in the form of either:
b) Breaking the DVD in half c) Breaking the VHS with a hammer 2) The Following actions will not be permitted by said member of Team Spank after viewing the Duration of the entire film.
* Flying to Katee Sackhoff's house and engaging in the following activities:
b) Tackling her when she goes out to get her morning paper and/or sucker punching her in the face B) In Regards to the Television Series Battlestar Galactica and Subsequent Effects On Popular Culture and the Self Proclaimed Member of Team Spank. Additionally, the Protocol of How Any Member of Team Spank Existing On The Planet Shall React To All Scenarios, But Are Not Limited Too: Episodes of Battlestar Galactica, Hiatus, On Air Programming and Other Miscellaneous After Effects That Result in the Eventual Act of the Show Being Taken Off the Air. 1) Quintessential Katee Episodes are a vital part of Team Spanks viewing experience as it pertains to the show Battlestar Galactica and the character of Kara "Starbuck" Thrace. When viewing a Quintessential Katee Episode, it is required of the Member of Team Spank and any "non" member of Team Spank that is in the room during the duration of the episode, that they must silently absorb in on all of the talent and skill of Katee Sackhoff in the role of Kara "Starbuck" Thrace. Certain acts taking place during this episode that are required include, but are not limited to:
*Saying such comment as "holy fucking balls, she is so awesome" and other similar comments *Audible sobbing
b) Battlestar Galactica c) Kara "Starbuck" Thrace d) Katee Sackhoff in the role of Kara "Starbuck" Thrace e) The Awesomeness of one or all of the previously mentioned addendum's. 2) Participation in Forum and Online Activities Such as an Online Blog Such as Live Journal is Highly Encouraged Among the Fans of Katee Sackhoff in the role of Kara "Starbuck" Thrace as dictated by the title of "Spank" During Periods on the Calendar Year in which the aforementioned Programming Occurs.
b) If the Biological Brother of the Actress Katee Sackhoff, Eric Sackhoff, Where to Join the Treehouse Forum, Home of Team Spank. He is Not Bound by the Previous Addendum c) In the Unlikely Even that the Actress Katee Sackhoff Would Join the Treehouse Forum, Home of Team Spank. She is Not Bound by Any of the Previous or Any of The Following Amendments or Bi-Laws of The Treehouse Forum, Home of Team Spank. *Coherent and incoherent Reactions to Episodes of the Television Show Battlestar Galactica During the Points of the Calendar Year in Which Episodes Air on the SciFi Channel are Encouraged but Not Required as said by the Standards and Practices Act. Reactions That are Appropriate to an Episodes of the Television Show Battlestar Galactica May Include, but Are Not Limited to:
b) Throwing Oneself Through A Picture Window In Order to Make the Evil Thoughts Disappear. This Particular Action is Not Fully Encouraged, as it Effects Membership and Census Gathering Information, but Can Be Achieved and Executed In Order For Any Member of Team Spank to Experience Mental Relief After Watching Only The Following Episodes of the Televisions Series Battlestar Galacitca: c)Physical Exercise for the Purpose of Expending Energy That Is Gained From the Absorption of Thoughts and Concepts as Dictated and Released by the Television Program Battlestar Galactica , Include But Are Not Limited to: d)Sleeping; When and If Possible This State of Sedation Can Be Achieved After Watching an Episode of the Television Series Battlestar Galactica e)Nose Bleeds 3) In the Likely Event That The Aforementioned Program Takes An Extended Leave of Absence In Regards To Airing Episodes (Such a Phenomenon Is Commonly Called A "Hiatus") For A Sustained Period of Time Longer Than Two Weeks And Shorter Than "The Show Is Cancelled", Members of Team Spank Are Encouraged To Seek Any Measure Of "Solace" Deemed Necessary To Survive Said Extended Leave of Absence As Long As It Is Not Detrimental To: The Katee Sackhoff, Other Members of Team Spank, Team Spank As a Whole, Or The Individual Member In Question.
* Discussing the Flawless Anatomical Structure of The Katee Sackhoff's Clavicle * Discussing the Aforementioned Program, With Emphasis Placed on Katee Sackhoff As Seen In the Role of Kara "Starbuck" Thrace * "Yelling" Nonsensical Obscenities To Other Members of Team Spank * Altering Photographs Featuring The Katee Sackhoff To Include Various Members of Team Spank Via Photoshop * Doing Nothing b) Reviewing Previously Aired Episodes of the Aforementioned Program With the Intent of Recreating a Scenario In Which the Reviewed Episode Is Unfamiliar, Thereby Producing An Sense of Nostalgic Excitement and Euphoria. c) Reviewing Previously Aired Episodes of the Aforementioned Program That Prominently Feature Katee Sackhoff In the Role of Kara "Starbuck" Thrace With the Intent of Appreciating Fully the Range and Desirability of Katee Sackhoff In the Role of Kara "Starbuck" Thrace.
* Incoherent Verbal Disscussion And/Or Comments (See Amendments 2, Clause 2.a, Sub-List Second Asterisk) * The Majesty of Song * Well-Written Poetry * Poorly-Written Poetry * Interpretive Dance d) Staring At Still Or Moving Photographs of Katee Sackhoff In the Role of Kara "Starbuck" Thrace For Extended Periods of Time.
ii. Still Or Moving Photographs of Katee Sackhoff As Herself Are Also Acceptable * When Achieving Said "Solace" Members of Team Spank Are Highly Discouraged From The Following Actions:
b) Becoming Motivated c) Accepting Employment Into a Job Which Requires Excessive Amounts of Commitment And/Or Work d) Pursuing A Meaningful And/Or Rewarding Career e) Having "Fun" While Skiing The Swiss Alps f) Dying 4) Under the Extreme and Negligent Circumstance That The Television Series Battlestar Galactica Is Removed from The Sci-Fi Channel in a Permanent and Undoing Status, It Is Thus Mandatory That Any Spank That Continues to Consume Oxygen On the Plant, Regardless of Health, Employment Status and Location, Be Dually Required To Take a Plane, Train, Automobile or Motor Scooter to The Federal Republic of Switzerland And Choose Between A Traditional Burial Or That Of A Viking Funeral. It Is Additionally Required That Those Running The Treehouse Forum, Home Of Team Spank, Do Everything In Their Power to Destroy and Dismantle the Aforementioned Forum, Former Home Of Team Spank.
Step 2 - Seal The Aforementioned Box With Packaging Tape Or Duct Tape. Step 3 - Incinerate All Other Belongings By Any Means Possible Without Drawing The Attention Of The Local Fire Marshall, Police Authority, or Federal Government, Peoples Republic or Monarch, Respectively. *In Order to Tie Up Personal Relationship With "Non" Members Of Team Spank, The Following Sequence Of Actions Are Required Prior To Entering The Federal Republic Of Switzerland:
Step 2 - Tell Them "I Do Not Love You (All) Anymore, Please Leave Now." Step 3 - Do Not Make Eye Contact. Step 4 - Leave The Room. *In Order To Deal With Pets That May Be Left Behind Due To The Aforementioned Burial and/or Viking Funeral, The Following Steps Are Required Prior To Entering The Federal Republic of Switzerland:
Step 2 - Give Them The Animal and Say "Please Take Care of It, Thank You." Step 3 - Do Not Make Eye Contact. Step 4 - Leave The Room. *Following the Conclusion of The Aforementioned "Necessary Steps of Cleansing" Required By A Member of Team Spank, Said Member Should Immediately Find the Cheapest Means Possible To Travel To The Federal Republic of Switzerland, and Donate The Remainder of Their Currency to The Acquire An Authentic Viking Ship Fund In Order For The Designated Members of Team Spank To Procure the Viking Ship That Is Designated For The Ritualistic Incineration of Said Ship. The One and Only Exception To The Mandate of Frugal Travel Is That Of Spanks That Reside In the Federal Republic of the United States of America; In Which The Purchase Of A Singular, One Way Ticket To the Federal Republic of Switzerland Is Likely To Endure Scrutiny From Home Land Security, The National Security Agency, and Possibly The Local Airport Security. In Order to ByPass the Aforementioned "Scrutiny" the Aforementioned American Spank Must Procure the Aforementioned Box of Battlestar Galactica Paraphernalia, Place The Aforementioned Items In A Travelers Suitcase, and Purchase a Round Trip Ticket With No Intention of Using The Return Trip of the Previously Purchased Ticket. The Additional Currency That Has Vanished Due To The Unnecessary Expense Incurred, Is Off-Set With the Luxury of a Safe And Easy Passage Out of the Federal Republic of the United States of America and Into the Federal Republic of Switzerland. C)In Regards to Programming That Katee Sackhoff Has Previously Participated In, Not Including The Aforementioned Film, The Last Sentinel, Or Any Adverse Side Effects Resulting From The Film, But That Do Include Past Movies And Television Endeavors That Are More Than Two Calendar Years, Or Seven Hundred And Thirty Days Past Their Original Debut. D)In Regards to Programming That Katee Sackhoff Is Currently Participating In, Or Has Participated In, Not Including The Aforementioned Television Series Battlestar Galactica, That Are Within Two Calendar Years Or Seven Hundred And Thirty Days Past Their Original Debut, As Set Fourth by The Statute Of Limitations Of Amendment 1C In The Constitution and Amendments of Team Spank. E)In Regards to Any Programming That Is Considered To Be A Future Endeavor For The Actress Katee Sackhoff. This Includes, But Is Not Limited To Projects Such As: Future Episodes Of The Television Series Battlestar Galactica, Future Aired and Un-Aired Pilot and Television Series Other Than That Of Battlestar Galactica, and Guest Appearances In Future Unknown Television Programs, as Dictated By The Limitations Set Fourth By Amendment 1C and 1D In The Constitution and Amendments of Team Spank To be Set Anywhere From One Day Before the Current Hour, Or Up To One Million Days Before the Current Hour. F)In Regards To the Purchase and/r Download of Any Television Program and/or Movie With the Actress Katee Sackhoff In the Medium of Digital Versatile Disk, Bit Torrent and/or Streaming Internet Video. -------------------- |
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Dec 12 2008, 07:44 PM
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#3
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Administrator Group: Root Admin Posts: 46 Joined: 27-March 08 Member No.: 1 |
2: Katee Sackhoff Interviews, Conventions and other Miscellaneous Activity, Including But Not Limited to Her Involvement in Biker Gangs and Wine Parties.
A)The Attendance of a Science Fiction Convention, Comic Book Convention, Wizarding(?) Convention, Or Any Other "Convention" In Which Said Attendee Should At Any Time Possibly Come Into Any Sort of Contact With Katee Sackhoff, Including But Not Limited To Contact That Occurs When One Or Both Parties Are Unaware of Said Contact.
b) Maintain A Safe Distance From The Katee Sackhoff (Minimum of 100 Feet OR 30.48 Meters) c) Fold Arms Tightly Across Chest In Order To Prevent Unseemly Physical Contact d) Retreat To the Bathroom To Vomit As Soon As Courtesy Allows e) Under No Circumstances Should The Attendee Vomit In the Presence Of Or On The Katee Sackhoff * In the Event That The Attendee ONLY Is Aware of Said Contact:
b) The Attendee Should Wait For the Next Moment That The Katee Sackhoff Is Looking In a Direction Opposite Or Tangent To the Attendee's Current Position Before Making a Hasty Retreat To A Comfortable Distance c) Attendee's Must Be Trained In the Art of Stealth And/Or Ninja Warfare Before Attending Said Convention d) Retreat To the Bathroom To Vomit As Soon As The Katee Sackhoff Is Out of Visual Range * In the Event That The Katee Sackhoff ONLY Is Aware of Said Contact:
b) See Above Directions For Guidance. Use One OR Both As the Situation Allows c) Retreat To the Bathroom To Vomit As Soon As the Awareness and Shame Have Sunk In Completely * In the Event That Neither Party Is Aware Of Said Contact:
b) The Attendee Should Do Everything Humanly Possible To Ensure That The Katee Sackhoff DOES NOT Become Aware c) Retreat To the Bathroom To Vomit As Soon As An Adequate Amount of Time Has Been Spent Staring Longingly At The Katee Sackhoff From Across the Convention Floor -------------------- |
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Dec 12 2008, 07:57 PM
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#4
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Administrator Group: Root Admin Posts: 46 Joined: 27-March 08 Member No.: 1 |
3: General Protocol for Team Spank Members in Regards to Katee Sackhoffs Celebrity Status.
The "Standard of Practice" Act, States That: at No Point In Time, is Any Member of Team Spank required to Do Anything That Could Be Defined as "Pro-Active" or Even "Active" as Stated and Enforced by Code 98304 of the Team Spank Bi-laws. The Breaking of This Act Will Result in Shock and Awe, but Is In No Way a Standard By Which The Spanks Must Strive. _________________________________________ A)In the Event That A Member of Team Spank Should Be Walking, Standing, Loitering, Sitting, Etc. On Any Public Or Private Property In the Known World And While Doing One of the Aforementioned Actions In One of the Aforementioned Places Should Come Into Any Kind of Physical, Verbal, Or Visual Contact With Katee Sackhoff And Is Thereby Recognized As A Member of Team Spank. 1)The Resulting Mandatory Evacuation From Said Situation Includes:
* The Most Efficient Removal That Can Be Physically Achieved By Said Member From the Aforementioned Location
b) Prohibited Acts of Deliberate Contact Include But Are Not Limited To: B)The Role of PhotoShop in the Ever Growing Epidemic of Katee Sackhoff's Infamous "I Was There and You Where Not" Phenomenon, in Regards to Her Being in a Geographic Proximity of up to, or within, 200 Miles or 321.868 Km of a member of Team Spank, and the Lack of Said "Member" Being Within 10 yards or 9.144 m thus resulting in the Legal or Illegal Download of PhotoShop, in Order to Maintain the Guise That Said "Spank" was Within the Required Amount of Distance a Spank Should be, When Katee Sackhoff is Within 200 Miles or 321.868 Km of Said "Spanks" Current Geographic Location.
2. Steps for Compensation When Katee Sackhoff Enters Within The PREVIOUS Geographic Proximity (Within 200 Miles or 321.686Km) of A Member of Team Spank, and They, by Virtue of No Longer Living/Breathing/Working In That Geographic Location, Are Not Within The Mandatory 10 Yards or 9.144m of Actress Katee Sackhoff, Must Do The Following, Once They Discover Their Breech: 3. Additionally, It Is Required of All other Members of Team Spank, To Torment the Aforementioned Spank That Is Effected by the Aforementioned Phenomenon, By Any Means Possible and Without Regard to Feelings or Personal Relationships. When The Aforementioned Spank Completes the First Step of B1/B2, It is Then Highly Encouraged that Reactions May Include, But Are Not Limited to The Following: -------------------- |
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Dec 15 2008, 05:14 PM
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#5
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Administrator Group: Root Admin Posts: 46 Joined: 27-March 08 Member No.: 1 |
The Comprehensive History of Team Spank. A Tale of Treachery, Heartbreak, and Money Laundering. This is the story of how Team Spank came to be. It was before we had an official website and forum, when we were just a pack of assholes that - through a series of several odd circumstances - found our way into the Katee Sackhoff Appreciation Thread II (scifi.com), thus coming together as the group of fans most profoundly effected by "The Purge", which was the eventual result of Team Spank. You will laugh, you will cry, you will be surprised at the use of emoticons from some of the founding members early on, but mostly you will just be offended at how truly self-indulgent this history is. (and the ending of sentences with prepositions, that is likely to happen a lot. So just be prepared for it.) --------------------------- CHAPTER ONE: FatApolloLove Joins the Sci-Fi Forums and Does Not Post In The Katee Thread. June 18, 2007, FatApolloLove joined the Sci-Fi boards. Due to poor record keeping on her part, she "forgot her password and had to get a new one" sometime between the day after her first post and lasting for approximately two months (or from sometime in the middle of August to around the middle of November). Both points, early on Fat's "went dark" from the scifi boards, for all intents and purposes she did not exist. This was still prior to any of the other founding members of Team Spank being on the boards, so her absence went un-noticed. There is speculation that she was in school, possibly backpacking across Canada, some even claim that the now extinct Semilohumendopus (a pre-historic rat the size of a modern day cow) was discovered by our very own FatApolloLove. She does not deny that the fateful scuba diving she did off the coast of Manhattan Island, her home at the time, rendered anything more than a severe stomach illness caused by a special bacteria that is only seen off the coast of large metropolitan areas. The only thing we know for certain, is the she posted very little until around the middle of November. Her last post prior to her disappearance/archaeological scuba diving excursion was this: "i smoke a cigar once every couple weekends. that's it. i don't really like cigarettes...they just seem too expensive to get addicted to." Once again, prior to any of the founding Members of Team Spank being a part of the forums, Fats would have you believe she never posted in the Katee Thread until the day she saw it "go to the second page", but as it turns out, she DID in fact, post in the Katee Thread. She simply dropped in to post a picture of Katee Sackhoff from Razor. Her exact words where: "have we all seen this picture? katee's so cute." Before Fats found herself to be a regular in the Katee Thread, she was already associating herself with the group in there, by saying "we" instead of "you all" or the markedly southern contraction of "y'all" (which is comforting since Fats is not from the South and generally finds it weird, creepy, and "messed"). --------------------------- CHAPTER TWO: DjVillain Joins the Sci-Fi Forums, and Wanders Around Aimlessly Until She Ends Up In The Katee Thread. Joining the boards December 7th, 2007, DJ did not immediately find her home in the Katee Thread. While it took less time than Fats (DJ never forgot her password) it was still a bit of a process to get to the Katee Thread. The first place DJ posted was in the Kara/Leoben Thread. It was clear from a very early stage that she was a complete asshole for all things "fucked up" but was not able to clearly define this as a personal characteristic, until much later in her forum life. With all of that being said, she managed to annoy and alienate a number of people in multiple threads under multiple topics. She managed to piss off people in a thread about the WGA strike, she managed to piss off some K/L shippers when she mistakingly mentioned her love for PaintSex in their thread (she, like many future spanks, was extremely naive to skiffy politics). DJ made an attempt to start a thread called "You Know You're a Shipper When..." but as it turned out she was the only person that could think of any equally creepy and funny scenarios, and the thread disappeared into oblivion. She also did not realize it at the time, but her adverse reaction to shipping was playing out in very odd scenarios all over the forums, one primary example being the start of that thread. It was only a matter of time before DJ realized she was not at all a shipper, and just a really giant fan of Katee Sackhoff in the Role of Kara "Starbuck" Thrace. --------------------------- CHAPTER THREE: DjVillain and FatApolloLove Begin Interacting In Threads...That Are Not The Katee Thread. From the middle to end of December, 2007, DJ and Fats where both fairly active members on the scifi boards. DJ had already found her way into the Katee thread, and had some interaction with Fats in other more "intellectual" threads. They did not interact directly at first, but only both coincidentally posting in the same threads. That was probably (definitely) due to their mutually shared lazy nature of only staying on the first page of forum. It wasn't until the "So He's the Cylon God?" Thread that DJ and Fats first interacted directly. However, it was DJ toolishly responding to Fat's response to another post, that facilitated their very first interaction. It went something like this: Random Skiffy Poster: There was a very interesting discussion on the Katee Sackhoff Appreciation thread, yesterday or today (I'm not sure...too many posts!) about what happened to Starbuck. Fats: i can never follow the katee thread. people post too much for their own good.  1 (see: footnotes)DJ: Thats kinda true about the Katee thread, there is a lot of "hi" and "bye" but sometimes the discussion turns to bsg.2 ha ha. (I just try and follow around the intersting discussion...about the show....) Random stuff about starbuck, etc, etc, etc, Fats:when you say you think what happened to starbuck........ etc, etc, etc, etc, DJ: Good point. What I said in another thread, in the Katee one, was that we define death in a certain way..... etc, etc, gratuitously long post about life and death blah blah blah Fats: djvillian, that's a really interesting point.3a/b this thread is turning into quite a fun discussion (at least i think so, anyway). and by fun i mean...serious...and deep...and mind-stretching-but-in-a-good-way. FOOTNOTES: 1Emoticons where occasionally used very early on. 2DJ starts her habit of interjecting herself into Fats' conversations. 3aFats unknowingly plays into DJ's inflated ego. 3bThis was prior to Fats learning the "quote" function, resulting in her addressing people directly. Fats continued to discuss important things in that thread while DJ responded to something "Random Skiffy Poster" said, never to be seen again...in that thread. While DJ went back to the everyday discussions about much of nothing in the Katee Thread, Fats continued to wander outside of the warmth of the Katee Thread for a few more days. DJ and Fats continued interaction lead to them eventually meeting in the Katee Thread, even though DJ was not sure if it was the same poster she had interacted with previously. --------------------------- CHAPTER FOUR: FatApollLove "Bumps" the Katee Thread The reason DjVillain did not immediately remember FatApolloLove the night of December 29, when she "bumped" the Katee Thread, was because DJ's first truly memorable interaction with FatApolloLove happened that same night - almost simultaneously - in another thread. DJ remembered the interaction in the "Cylon God" Thread, but did not realize it was the same person. The night of December 29th - the night Fats bumped the Katee Thread - she was also in the "Measure of Salvation" thread. It went something like this, with the first two posts not being actually being related to one another: Fats: this was the episode where it really clicked with me that cylons were a race of people who could make decisions. Dj:The episode was written by Angelli...he has a total man crush on Helo. ----------- Dj:The only way I can deal with Misogynistic Hack episodes is pretend like they never happened. Anything a character does in one of his episodes, just pretend like they didn't. Like that "Forgiven" speech that Lee gave in Crossroads...I just replace something a character did in an Misogynistic Hack episode, and say "forgiven" and the world is alright again. "Athena was content in folding laundry for an entire episode...FORGIVEN." And so on..... Fats: heh. that's the most awesome thing i've ever heard... Fats unknowingly appealed to DJ's ego and self-love, while simultaneously having an awkward conversation with her in the Katee Thread: Fats: bump. for katee. EKS: Thank You Kindly for the Bump, Welcome to the Nugget Mental Hospital, where we are all CRAZY about Katee Fats: i do what i can. i feel unnecessary anger when she drops to the second page1 (see: footnotes)... Dj: (not in response to fats) Speaking of BFF...I always thought that Adama and Saul were Hetero Life partners more than BFF. Maybe I should take that to the Saul Tigh appreciation thread. This msg is more of a bump than anything.2 Fats: (not in response to Dj) i resent that. i am not an angry person, generally. the anger that i feel is only out of affectionate indignation on katee's behalf. this thread seems slow tonight. so slow that i am forced to post rather than lurk. the sacrifices i make for love...sigh...3 Dj: (in response to fats) resent what? 4 Oh..I think I know....I just re-read the last few posts... Fats: (in response to DJ) sorry. i think we posted at the same time. each so eager to keep katee on the first page and say nothing of any kind of importance we unwittingly misunderstood each other. i was talking to slayer, who was talking trash about my city... Dj: Yeah I figured that. I thought maybe you read back a few pages and got randomly offended by something.5 Fats:i'm really not offended at all. let me introduce myself. i am NAME DELETED. i am sarcastic. nothing that i say can be taken seriously. ever. oh, and i never get offended. it's gift. i am not an angry person, even if i am from new york (despite what you believe). yes, i am straight. yes, i would become not-straight for katee sackhoff. hmmm. i think that's everything important. Dj:That's awesome.....6 Fats: katee's my first and only girl-crush. her hotness surpasses silly boundaries such as gender.. Dj: I watched One Tree Hill for Sophia Bush. (And have paid the price dearly...mainly because I watch One Tree Hill...my roomate also called me out on it one night...I may have been watching the show with headphones on or something.) Thats the only one of mine that comes to mind...everyone else is just awesome to look at. That, and I rarely pay attention to blondes unless their character impresses me in some way (cite: Starbuck and Veronica Mars) Fats: i do not know who sophia bush is. i am not from the south. i cannot contribute to this conversation at all. i'm sorry. continue... Dj:Ok, let's turn this conversation back to Katee Sackhoff...This is what we know so far...You and Eldar would Frak her if you had the chance, I LOVE her as Starbuck..... Ok.....go! Fats: that wasn't a hint or anything. you can talk about the south if you want. i love gumbo. 7 wait, wait, wait. you wouldn't try to be on her if you had the chance? DJ:I dare say that if I met her, I would be to star struck to try and make a move...or even talk. I get all nervous around famous people. Fats:hmmm. donuts. i'm not sure what that means, but i'll go with it... there are no words required for what we are suggesting... DJ:I feel like I'm missing something again...but I will assume that has something to do with Katee Sackhoff...considering the thread.8 Fats:i see my sexual innuendos are lost on you, fool. heh. 9 i'll try to keep it clean from now on... Dj:Yup...I had a feeling...but I was like "may want to clarify things a bit...." (continues on about going catatonic when seeing hot people) Fats:that IS unfortunate. how can we get you past this? Dj: (misunderstanding Fats) I'm trying to remember stuff that we have talked about in other threads. I know I've seen you around the threads before.....10 FOOTNOTES: 1Fat's was already self aware, and using her anger as her first and primary emotion, as it relates to Battlestar Galactica. 2Early on, DJ was considered the "thread nazi" of sorts, often taking things away from the subject of Starbuck, then demanding things get back on topic. 3Fats was seemingly self away enough to know the Katee thread was bad for her, but she choose to ignore this gut feeling. 4The First of many times DJ misunderstands something that Fats says. 5DJ quickly learns to reread everything Fats says, in order to understand what is going on. 6DJ unknowingly appeals to Fats' egotistical size by calling her "awesome" for the first of many times. 7See: Footnote Number 4. 8See: Footnote Number 7 9Fats introduces her "sound" words 10See: Footnote Number 8. Fats proceeded to thank EKS for posting a picture of Katee Sackhoff in a cigar and sheet, while DJ had a minor spaz out over the picture, and that was the end of that conversation for that night. --------------------------- CHAPTER FIVE: DjVillain and FatApolloLove Continue To Converse In The Katee Thread, Where Things Quickly Go From Awkward to Wildly Inappropriate. Fats returned to the Katee Thread the following day. With DJ not being use to what would become a regular habit of Fats (the habit of abruptly leaving without so much as a "goodbye") DJ decided to call Fats out on this behavior. Little did DJ realize, she had not personally offended Fats as she originally thought, but Fats was simply an inconsiderate asshole, that made it habit of leaving without warning. There where still times very early in Fats' entry into the Katee thread, that she did say goodbye. The first (and possibly last) time this happened was the second day she posted in the Katee Thread. The conversation, although slightly less awkward, was still filled with misunderstanding (on DJ's part) and blatant sexual innuendo (on Fats' part): Fats: hey guys. check me out. posting...not lurking. Dj: Fat Apollo Love!. How's everything since the last time our conversation came to a screeching hault? Fats: heh. sorry about that. as a usual lurker, when i get sleepy i just...leave. i should probably work on this... and while this happened about twenty minutes later: Fats: okay, i'm leaving now. i have to go run some errands before it gets dark. i'll be back in about an hour. hopefully you guys will still be around. we can discuss katee's hotness and you can possibly shed some insight on the intense hatred for 'measure...' that everyone seems to share (i just don't GET it...). then later we can maybe talk about katee some more. toodlepip.1 FOOTNOTES: 1Origin unknown That was the first and last time that Fats gave the Katee Thread the courtesy of allowing the other posters some insight as to why she was walking away from her computer. Coincidentally, it was also the first and last time she used the word "toodlepip." And thus begins the extreme descent into inappropriate that the Katee Thread maintained for years (MONTHS!) while Fats and DJ slowly alienated all the original "nuggets" and turned the Katee Thread into their own personal smut den. Here are some examples as to how the conversation digressed... rapidly: December 30, 2007: Fats: i don't want to be sketchy and ask where you are (closely followed by casually dropping an inquiry into the conversation as to whether or not you like to party...) but what time is it for you? i never really thought about such trivial things as...time of day...meh... and her next post was: Fats: mmm. i'm a balding middle-aged man who's looking for a good time. you know your interested.  And it continues: Dj:So your a balding middle age man and I'm an 11 yr. old that wants to meet. Why didn't we just come out with the truth much sooner than now. All this "I like Katee Sakchoff." business. (All lies....) Fats:about the lies we tell, they weren't ALL lies. so, i have this starbuck costume. how you feel about role playing? Dj: Things just took a very weird turn for me..... (I'm going take a shower) Fats: heh. after i wrote that i considered the possibility that maybe i had gone...to far...? DJ proceeded to call herself "unreliable" and post a bomb of Starbuck falling out of the viper in Act of Contrition. Fats' Response: Fats:that's awesome. perhaps i shall use it when i sign off tonight. heh. oh, and while we're (briefly...so don't let it go to your head ) discussing how awesome you are i'd like to just say again how much i adored your "forgiven" strategy which you employ during hopeless Angelli episodes. i am literally laughing right now...again...But what Fats did not realize, is they never STOPPED discussing how awesome they where. That would be one of the main characteristics that would eventually define not only the founding members of Team Spank, but each and every Spank that followed. Despite the fact that she DID preface it with "don't let this go to your read" it was already too late. DJ had indeed let it go to her head. That was it. DJ's extremely sketchy and non descript response to Fats calling her awesome was this: Dj: Cool, It's possible because the show is make-believe. In follow up interviews, even DJ doesn't know the meaning behind this response. It will, forever, be a complete mystery. Fats, however inappropriate, was also extremely self-aware. Chevy, upon re-entering the thread and reading how extremely awkward things got with the "role playing" scenario that DJ and Fats created after only one day worth of interaction, asked if Fats and DJ "wanted to be alone". Fats responded accordingly: Fats:no, we don't need to be alone. it got a little out of control and i killed the joke. i usually do, if given enough time... Uncovered, is the first monologue, in the history of "spank monolouges" as thought to have originate with DjVilliain, it has thus been proven that FatApolloLove was the first to have a monologue, in the most unexpected place. HERE And the Rapid Descent into Inappropriateness continued. December 31, 2007: Dj: (To Fats, who was already gone, but no one knew) I think I clicked on the wrong msg but I thought scantly clad katee were going to be your three favorite things? Like somehow Scantly was your first favorite thing, then clad was your second, then Katee was your third...but I have reading comprehension problems....and I read the rest of the msg. I also clicked on the wrong msg to reply to. January 1, 2008: Fats:ah! dj, my favorite person ever, is back! all is right again in the katee thread. it was getting lonely here, bumping and bumping. wow. that sounds so dirty...but you know what i mean...heh... DJ:I also do my fair share of bumping. Last night I wandered into the Kara/Lee thread and managed to NOT make everyone angry. It was pretty cool. I just talked about the towel scene. I hope that in the 25 minutes of deleted scenes they show the part that we missed from when Kara and Lee kissed, to when they were...how do you say "finishing up" And then Fats proceeded to find an excuse to post a picture of herself. It was this picture:  And DJ's response: Dj: That looks like an ugly bruise. I'm thinking that is either you, or your actually a 41 year old man and that was your most recent victim. (Let me take a phote of your bruise.....and so on....) Fats: heh. yeah, that's me. although i could be lying couldn't i? oooo, the wiles of the internet... And thus, began the process of Fats and DJ attempting to fuck with and torture one another "just for funsies" as is proof by the following post: Fats: my mission in life is to make dj spew metaphorical shipper chunks all over this thread Dj: I thought it was to get me to switch teams for Katee....by posting that picture. That, truely is sinister. Either way...you win. DUH DUH DUUUUH!!! Fats: so true. i was trying to be so subtle about it, too... you see right through my evil schemes. you know that when i post a picture of katee in which she looks non-agressive, hot as he11, and her awesome jawline is accentuated that it's all just a hook to lure you in... Dj: Well, if my "the world centers around DjVililan" theory is true...then yes. I agree. I'm going visit one of my best friends and my brother next week, and she said she knwos a chick that looks like Starbuck. She said Starbuck because of the girls personality mixed with her looks. So this should be intersting. Fats: even if she looks exactly like starbuck try to contain yourself. try not to jump this girl, dj. because i know that you, of all people, would do that. remember, "no" means "no".. Dj:I told my roomate to say stuff to the girl to kinda freak her out about me...then when she introduces us...I'll just walk up to her, in complete silence and give her a hug...but hold it a little to long. Fats:amidst the hug you should probably smell her hair. heh. Dj:..with my eyes closed. Fats:i'm just imagining how creepy that would be. and laughing... EKS:and sigh, not quite silently Fats: rofl1...this poor girl! please do, dj! DJ:This is the kind of plan that I think of, and perfect with a group of people, then when it actually goes down...I just feel like an obnixous jackwad...and everyone feels awkward. Fats:1) i'm sure no one has ever thought you were a jackwad...since i'm pretty sure you made up that word. 2) it's only awkward if you MAKE it awkward (you know what i mean...) 3) i don't laugh like a sadistic maniac...i laugh like a completely normal person. harumf. and later on... Fats:i believe the word you are looking for is 'jackwad'. that's what we say now. it's a new insulting nickname. it belongs in dj's world...but she's trying to set it loose in ours. i figured we should probably support this... Dj:Now your catching on..... FOOTNOTES: 1First and last time Fats used "rofl" - Origin Unkown --------------------------- CHAPTER SIX: MaxiMaxIsMyDog Posts In the Katee Thread For the First Time - Amongst a Smut Party - and Is Mistaken For an 18 Year Old Homosexual Male Virgin By DjVillain. As previously mentioned, Fats and DJ's immersion into complete inappropriateness was extremely rapid and accelerated. When asked how long DJ and Fats "knew one another" prior to Maxi showing up, you might hear them say anywhere from "one week" to "about a month, maybe?" when, according to Skiffy Data, Maxi's first post was December 30th, 2007, only the second night Fats and DJ where in the Katee thread together. The night of December 30th, 2007, DJ, Fats, Chevy and LadyArtist had managed to set up an elaborate scenario with a hot tub full of chcolate, in which DJ could not join, because she was allergic to chocolate. With Chevy and LadyArtist dunking one another in the Chocolate, Fats and DJ began to have a conversation about all of the various sex scenes in the show. With this going on, DJ posted several pictures of Starbuck having sex with various male characters on the show. That was when Maxi decided to make her first post in the Katee Thread: Maxi: Hello there. I believe I just lost my virginity to Katee Sackhoff, in a round about sort of way. She's a cool chick & so talented. Hey, why did the pic not show at 100%? My first go and I failed :-0 And thus began DjVillain thinking Maxi was a literal "virgin" and assuming she was male, for no other reason than her claiming she lost her virginity to a "female" (DJ assuming the typical gender role in this scenario, was already in the process of changing, partially due to this, partially due to other things that had yet to happen.) The only person that misunderstood what Maxi was all about was DJ. This did not happen with Fats. She, along with everyone else seemed to know that Maxi was a Female, 30 something, and Australian (and mostly likely, not a virgin). Fats managed to also hit on Maxi within a day of them meeting, by posting a picture of herself and, and then saying: Fats:how could she resist me...? This was also before we had Maxi's nickname nailed down: Fats: and now max is gone. i am perturbed... and a little while later... Fats:oop. max is back... it is also possible, that calling Maxi, "max" is what lead to DJ continuing to believe that Maxi was, in fact, a male. DJ was not around when Maxi was talking to Fats, but showed up later with this: Dj: So wait...Maximixamiismydog finally said something? I thought he1 was reading the entire thread before he replied...or just lurking in a creepy and obvious way. WHAT UP MAX. FOOTNOTES: 1Dj, was very obviously confused. Something else was happening simultaneously: DJ and Fats began acting like a weird forum couple. And, according to the records, this is likely the first time this happened, in the pre-history of Team Spank. (Considering it was approximately one or two days after their initial interaction in the Katee thread.) Fats: ahhhhhhh! dj!!!!!1  you cannot imagine my sadness when i came on here today and found you had returned a mere ten minutes after i left last night. sad times. anyway, it's wonderful to see you...especially when someone is leaving...*cough*meissa*cough*...to do things... Dj:Nice bomb. haha. I don't think it was even ten minutes. When I got to work FatApolloLove was still chilling out at the bottom of the screen. Oh well.2 Fats:we can either dwell on past mistakes and argue about whom left whom...or we can get this thread going. oh yeah. loved how you spelled "maximixamiismydog". did you just...make that up? start throwing a bunch of the same letters around? are we having another "jackwad" moment? but yeah, he/she finally spoke...but i had to call him/her3 out (in my extreme boredom)... DJ:I'm always having jackwad moments...why do you think I made up the word (I'm also pretty sure I didn't make up that word...but thanks for the credit) I think he4 might be one of my favorite people mainly because he came stroling into the thread the other night like "I think I'm a MAN now" *lights cigarette* ----- Dj:Oh, I know I was the one that left. I was all:  Fats:*sighs* i can't wait forever, you know. it was so late...and i had to get up so early (for that silly aforementioned making-a-living business). i just...*sobs*...it's so hard to please you sometimes... it's hard enough knowing that if i just held on a little longer, we could have said good-bye properly... i.e.  and in that scenario, i would have let you be katee... oh my, we're alone for 10 minutes and already the creepiness is coming out...(well, some say creepy, others say hot. it's such a fine line between the two...) Dj:I would say "Thanks for letting me be Katee" but you totally wanna B@ng her..... I am hard to keep happy...I'll give you the phone number of my most recent ex-boyfriend. I'm sure the two of you would have a lot to talk about.... I wouldn't say creepy so much as "pseudo sexual" Of "Overtely sexual"....either way.... Fats:oh yeah. as soon as you come on, skiffy starts dragging @ss. way to go there, dj.5 FOOTNOTES: 1The inappropriate excitement began at this point. 2Still unknown whether this nonchalance on DJ's part was real or fake. 3Apparently, Fats was unsure of Maxi's sex at this time. 4DJ, however, was undoubtedly SURE that Maxi was a male. 5The beginning of Fats and DJ blaming random things on one another. After Maxi's first several post, she was scarcely around for a time. DJ and Fats continued their ever rapid descent into complete inappropriateness: January 2, 2008: (A few key posts, not necessarily related to one another, but just an example of how inappropriate things got) Dj:Yay, more sexual innuendo chocolate banter. Dj:So its like a good "No, no" as opposed to a bad "No, no" Ok then....I'm alright with that. So its fake out dubious conscent. (even better, because no one can call it rape) Fats:"it was the good 'no, no!', and her eyes were saying 'yes'..." ah. the enduring arguement of all good rapists... Dj:But like I said earlier...you want to bang Katee...so where does that leave us? Not trapped...confused..THAT"S WHERE!!! Fats:maybe you're confused...but i know what i feel. FAT APOLLO LOVE LOVES DJVILLIAN! AND I DON'T CARE WHO FRAKKING KNOWS! Fats:dj! i will be here when you get back! i swear! i will wait! forever... Dj:Cool.... Maxi spent some time trying to get a hang of the skiffy boards. Her first several posts after her initial entry into the thread where to ask if she could curse, to ask what a "shipper" was and at one point, she even replied to herself: Maxi:I think that "So Say We All" and the slow hand clap are really the only campy things about BSG. They are so kind of unsophisticated that they don't really fit in. I think so say we all forces them back to a simpler time but, it's unifying. Maxi: (quoting and responding to...herself) Good point. I always get the feeling that when they do it, the actors are cringing with embarrassment. Maybe that's just me projecting my personal cringes on to them though. During this time DJ remained relative dry and "aloof" about most things, while Fats took every opportunity to post pictures of herself. Maxi had no problems fitting into the smut den that the Katee Thread had turned into: January 3, 2008 Maxi:I have no idea what a 'donkey punch' is And finally, Maxi, DJ and Fats line up: Maxi: Ps you can call me Maxi. Maxi really is my dog. Dj:I'll call you Maxi...Maxi...it's nice to finally have you interacting in this thread. Fats:i second that. we need more people on this thread who can wake up gracefully... but that only lasted approximately three minutes: Maxi:There's no doubt that Jamie is a fine specimen, but I'm afraid his arms just don't do it for me. I find them some how pointy. Still if they were on offer to me I definitely wouldnt turn them away Fats:no, no, no. you can't seriously be hatin' on the bamceps?? sad times... This was also a point in which the future Spanks and former Nuggets where calling Fat's "FAL" and very soon after Maxi came into the thread, she felt the need to change that: Maxi:Thanks FatApolloLove! Can I just call you Fat? Fats:pfffft. you could just call me NAME DELETED. it is my name. i mean, i know it's three syllables and all...but it's only five letters... Dj:Nope, I like Fat.1 Maxi:(In response to fats)Oh please can't I just call you "Fat". I'm really quite partial to it. "Yo, Fat, what do reckon about this?". "What's up, Fat?", "Are you going on a pub crawl with us tonight, Fatster?"2 See, it has a great ring to it. Fats:you know what, everyone can just call me Fat from now on. i think i'm secure enough i can handle it... FOOTNOTES: 1Why Dj's post count is large. 2Maxi was still working out the kinks of the new nickname. --------------------------- CHAPTER SEVEN: Maxi stars her "Resume" campaign, Dj goes on Vacation, and Fats deals with weird feelings. In the soon to be famous post, Maxi decided to create a resume for Katee Sackhoff. It started as a humble post, that of only three qualities that our beloved team leader posses, but would soon to become a stead fast and main stay of many pages to some in the Katee thread. Maxi posted this: Katee is particurlarly impressive when she's sweaty and looks smelly even. She should put that on her resume: Special Talents: Mastery of offensive language Can blow other folks off the screen, even without dialogue and/or movement Looks outstanding when sweaty. The response that DJ mustered: Oh, your going to fit right in..... At this point, DJ was off to visit her "real life friends." Maxi was just making a home in the thread by creating the most elaborate list of "talents" and Fats was in a weird limbo of caring a bit too much about other people in the thread at this time. Had Maxi, Fats and Dj been any less assholish about forums, it's possible that the spanks would have never happened. This series of events would have been the forum version of the "Straw that broke the camels back." With any other group, DJ going on vacation for a week would have given her some perspective on life....and she would have rightfully washed her hands of the forum. Fats would have realized that whatever strange feelings she was having about the other "people" on the forum was nothing more than a passing fling and she should have taken that opportunity to continue with school and develop her real life relationships. Maxi was in the same predicament. At this point, when she was still new to the forums, she should have realized that forum are, essentially, pure fucked up evil. She was close enough to the genesis of her forum life that she could have turned away and never looked back. Maxi, Fats and DJ ignoring Logic and Reasonable thought during this time is one of the most important element of how the spanks stuck around long enough to experience the purge and be dubbed "spanks." With Dj sent off on a mission to "smell the hair" of her friends friend that was supposedly "like starbuck" she was thus, unable to completely let go fo the forums during her vacation. Other than the "almost alcohol poisoning" experience that happened to her, and was documented retrospectively in the kate three, she was unable to not only stay away from the katee thread, but thought about it the majority of the time she was on vacation. Fats, being the lone wanderer during this stage, would intermittently PM dj some page numbers. What Fats did not realize at the time was that in PMing Dj the page numbers of supposedly "Awesome" pictures of Katee Sackhoff, that she transposed the last two numbers. So instead of sending DJ to page 564 she sent her to 546. THis would not normally be a problem but Fats sent DJ to a page full of "emotcons." This is a particularly bad scenario for someone like DJ, because DJ has trouble with smiley faces that are suppose to express thins that words could otherwise express. During this uncertain time of the Pre-Team Spank era, it became obvious that the co-dependent nature of Fats and DJ's relationship was just beginning to take form. A prime example of this is scene the the delicate ballet of dysfunction the two began playing with one another during the time DJ was supposedly "on vacation" from the forum. Fats digressed into using emotions in her post, not knowing any other way to express herself: (examples taken directly from her posts, completely out of context) "ah well. now i just need to figure out a way to make you indecently expose yourself in this thread. perhaps...for katee...?  ""you're such a tease. thinking about it...that's basically a promise.  ""p.s. anything you say can and will be used against you in the smut den... "and her strange behavior continued... The over use of emotcons: "i wasn't being funny...   "Telling the thread that she was leaving: "going out for a couple hours. be back soon." Even frantic laughter: "MWAHAHAHAHAHA! i found a way inside the thread...finally! i am in for the evening." While Fats slipped deeper and deeper into a psychotic depression, DJ was also partaking in her own dysfunctional behavior. She was post stalking Fat's without her realizing it. In back reading Fat's post, DJ learned that Chevy and Fat's joked around about "Ladies of Chastity" Dj became very pleased with the idea and proposed to FatApolloLove that the two of them, along with the other pre-spanks make a "joke thread" entitled "Ladies of Chastity" in which she suggested: DJ: Can I just say that the Ladies of Chastity is the funniest thing I've heard in a really long time. I think that FAL should leave the chastity charge, and that LA should be like the "smut troll" everyone else should just be on the fence and we need to see how many us-suspecting posters will feel the need to contribute to the "debate" smut vs. no smut. This could potentially be the best fake out thread ever...." Fats: erm...i don't know how to be chaste. this could be such a problem, i feel. why can't you be the chaste one? i want to be a smut troll! look at my sig! nobody's going to buy that i'm...you know...pure... DJ: That's the entire point. Its just riddled with Irony. I could try and be the chaste one..... People out there already think I'm a jackwad. Ok you being the chaste one woudl be really funny because of your sig. If people stopped for five seconds and realized what was going on it would occur to them that it was a fake out thread. I just think LA should be the smut troll....me you can chevy can all be the "chaste" ones. Either way it's riddled with Irony1. Fats: we would need more than one smut troll, methinks. they're going to need to be able to gang up on me (or us). i am really good at arguing and, i mean, i can be a very convincing chaste person. for example: "chastity? love it!" FOOTNOTES: 1It is possible DJ has no idea what "irony" means in any way shape or form. --------------------------- CHAPTER EIGHT: Awkwardness Continued The logistics of starting the Ladies of Chastity thread was hammered out extensively by the group of pre-spanks involved in the plot to hit the skiffy forum with the most epic "fake out" thread in the entire history of the forum. The Katee thread was buzzing with excitement over this elaborate prank. Fats eventually agreed to start the thread with a list of conditions any poster must follow in order to post in the thread. The rules where as follows: These are the thread rules: 1. Keep your legs together when you type. (male OR female) 2. Try to avoid using the "s" key on the keyboard so you won't be tempted to type words like "kiss" or "sex". 3. Please do not fantasize about characters/actors on the show. They are people too...with brains. They do not deserve to be objectified. 4. Know the difference between "making love" and "frakking"...but also know that it doesn't matter. Both are from the devil. 5. If Skiffy won't let you say a word, you shouldn't be saying it. For example: ****, ****, ****, *****, *******, ***wad, ****, ****, ****, *****, ***lick, *******, and ****. 6. Just because Skiffy may let a certain word go through (some may know the one I mean), doesn't mean you have the right to use it (not that it's been used). 7. The phrase "If you know what I mean" followed by suggestive ellipses if hereby banned from this thread. 8. When watching Battlstar Galactica the "hot scenes" are to be skipped over and ignored as if they did not exist...never discussed. 9. Sexual innuendos are not funny or witty. Ever. Blatant dirty-talk is bad enough...but when it's cloaked with lies, it's so much worse. 10. Drool is to be kept in your mouth at all times. 11. The only pictures allowed of our guards are ones in which they are fully clothed, and not engaging in, what could be considered as, objectionable activities. (As a side: men are welcome here, of course. The name of the thread only refers to the fact that it was a bunch of ladies who initially decided to start this thread. Also, men are genetically predisposed to be more smutty. It's science.) This was also a point where Maxi went missing for several week (Days) while Fats and DJ discovered more things about one another: DJ talks to LA about her youtube video's and Fats interjects herself into the conversation: Fats: i want to see your vids, foo! are you dj on youtube as well? DJ: Click on the link below my banner "My BSG fan vids.." Fats: oh man, i've seen your vids before...i just didn't know it was you. heh. the "flaming lips" one is actually one of my favs on my youtube account (i just lurk and have favorites...i don't make vids). and DJ and Fats continue to pander to one another in the absence of Maxi: DJ: Every time I only see you and me in the thread...That Will Smith song "Just the Two of Us" starts playing in my head...and I really have no idea why. Prior to starting the ladies of chastity thread, Fats noticed something weird happening outside of the Katee thread: Fats: oh god, dj. someone just started a thread entitled "Sex: Why?" a woman from Algeria is scandalized because she can't watch bsg with her children...or spouse... i'm not laughing right now. really. i'm not. DJ: SHould we? I don't know. We could just take over that thread.... I just really like the name. "Ladies of Chastity".....a lot Fats: no. let's leave that thread alone. we'll start our own...once that one falls to another page... Eventually, Maxi returned from her temporary hiatus that seemed to last for several weeks, but was, in reality, probably only a few days of her not being on the internet machine, gracing us with her presence. Fats: oh, and i want to add to some "special" talents of katee's when i get back... Maxi: Hi there. I'm getting an ominous feeling that the tone of my prized list is about to take a turn towards smutty :-) and Fats did cause the list to take a "turn towards smutty" with her most valuable contribution being the introduction of this phrase into the spank nomenclature is a sexy bag of sex. --------------------------- CHAPTER NINE: The "Ladies of Chastity" thread is Created and TripleSpank joins the Forum The time stamp of then the "Ladies of Chastity" thread is similar to the time that Three started mingling with the Pre-spank in the Katee thread. According to our records, Three had actually joined the skiffy forum an entire six days before she made first contact with FatApolloLove in the Katee thread, when Fats said "Good morning" to the thread in an unexpected fit of happiness and three kindly responded: Fats: hi 3nity. have we met? i can't be sure, because i usually remain in a constant daze of smutty katee appreciation, but i don't believe we have... Three: no, we haven't met yet. There awkward conversation ended there for the night, but Three's direct honesty in answering our American type questions will continue far into the history of the spanks. The next night, FatApolloLove started the "Ladies of Chastity" thread. Dj was, unfortunately not around for conception of this thread, but she quickly showed up in time to partake in the majority of the activities in that thread. -------------------- |
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